Grief can take many forms, as can the way a person deals with this aching emotion.
But when Emily and Paul Landry of Stratford lost their sweet Maddey, a tiny little Yorkshire terrier just days before Christmas, they were at a loss as to how to deal with their feelings of loss.
But when the two volunteers with the P.E.I. Humane Society (PEIHS) put their heads together with the society’s executive director, Heather Irving, who lost her own dog, Lulu, that Christmas day, they and society development co-ordinator Kelly Mullaly devised a pet memorials section on the organization’s website so that could pay tribute to their dearly departed animal friends.
“It helps you to express your grief. It helps you to say how you feel . . . instead of keeping it inside,” Emily says, her eyes tearing still at the loss of Maddey a little more than four months ago.
“It was a hard time, still is for Emily,” Paul adds.
Despite having a difficult start in life — Maddey was used as breeding stock in a puppy mill until the Landrys welcomed her into their home — she eventually became a social butterfly.
“We would go and visit everybody,” Emily says of her popular pooch.
“We went to every store in Charlottetown and they all knew her and that’s been hard for me because I would go to every place that we had been and everybody knew she had been sick so it took a long time. It’s still a long time.”
Paul was in the picture, but it was Emily that Maddey warmed up to first and had a definite preference for cuddling with.
“They were stuck together like glue, they were inseparable,” he says.
Maddey’s health troubles began in April. Within days her kidneys had failed but fortunately she responded to treatment. But in October, her condition worsened, despite excellent care from her vet and constant attention from the Landrys. On Dec. 23, 2005 Maddey died at the age of 14 years and seven months.
The Landrys had Maddey cremated and brought her ashes home. They still display some of the 600-plus photos they had taken over the years of Maddey as a reminder of their dear dog.
“It’s amazing how attached you get to these little dogs and cats,” Paul says.
“It’s been an education to understand that there are so many people who care and do understand and there are so many people who don’t,” Emily adds.
“At first I was hurt because some people didn’t understand, but now I feel really sorry for them because they’re missing something special because they don’t understand.”
As it so happened, Paul, who is a former firefighter, had volunteered to put together the society’s webpage a number of years ago. Using this knowledge, he and Emily out together the pet memorials’ webpage, with input from PEIHS staff.
“We also want to think about how we could incorporate this into funds development and into an opportunity for us to give people the chance to memorialize pets that they’ve lost and at the same time help the humane society,” Irving says.
For a donation of $25 to the P.E.I. Humane Society, people can post a picture of their pet and words to remember them.
Irving says close to 60 per cent of households on P.E.I. have pets, mostly cats and dogs. Because small dogs can be part of the family for as long as 15 years and cats as long as 20, their loss leaves a hollow spot in the family unit.
“If you’re taking care of your pet and if it’s living with you in your house and if it’s a companion animal, after it dies how can you not be affected?” she adds. “It would be like not being affected by a human family member who’s passed. This is a family member. It is a different species, but it is a family member.”
Although there are other ways for people to acknowledge the loss of their companion animal, the new memorial website provides people with one more way to work through their grief, at the same time helping the PEIHS continue its work in the Island community.
“It’s one aspect of the grieving process that I think can help soothe a very sad soul,” she says. “And I think that happens because you’re not keeping your grief and your sadness inside, you’re letting it out and sharing it.”
http://www.theguardian.pe.ca/index.cfm?sid=2623&sc=8