K--we got this email from Cindy and our reply follows...this is slap @ss funny!
thanks for the response, well i would like to know if you are still interested in the jackass because so many people are requesting for it and i tell them that someone else has paid for it which is not so. Let me know what is on your mind latest today so as to finilize everything.
You said you needed a male and a female, well i am going to my cousins place to get you a female there so asap i get there, i will email you concerning the one i can see there.
Umm.... but as for my jackass, i am requesting $4000 for it and shipping to you is $200 and i can collect $3200 upfront payment and asap you get the ass you can balance my payment of $1000.
Do get back to me asap if you recieve this email to know your own opinion.
NB: I will be needing the below info, please provide them in your next email:
FULL NAME:
FULL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
ZIPCODE:
CONTACT PHONE NBR:
Thanks
Cindy
Dear Cindy,
Thank you for returning my email about your jackass. I would like to see some pictures of your @ss before I buy it. Oh and the other @ss too.
Why are you in a hurry to sell your @ss--is it sick? Did I tell you I don't want a diseased @ss? Once Uranus had a cold. It was so disgusting and I had to strap a box of Puffs Plus to his back so that when he was carrying tourists up and down and up and down the hillside, he wouldn't have to do it with a snotty nose and they were nice enough to help him blow it. Bless his heart! Once he sneezed in a lady's face and she punched my @ss so hard. Poor Uranus!!! It cost a lot to fix that tooth.
I had Uranus trained to carry a roll of toilet tissue on his tail because the tourists complained if he had poop on his toosh. He liked having his butt wiped. Does your @ss like having its butt wiped? Do you think your @ss can be trained to wipe too? I'd hate to have another dirty and stinky @ss. Poor Uranus (I hope someone found him and is wiping his poor toochie).
Is your @ss broke? If so, how broke is your @ss?
Is your cousins' @ss broke too? How much for your cousins @ss?
Oh, when the @sses are shipped, how long does it take for your @ss to arrive? Will it arrive at my farm or will I need to go pick your @ss up? What is the name of the freight carrier that's gonna ship your @ss?
You wouldn't happen to know where I can find a teacup jackass do you? I would really like a tiny @ss to carry the little tourists up and down, and up and down the hillside too. I've got one tourist that is so scared of heights and he has requested a teacup jackass over and over, but not one so small the @sses tooshie will drag the ground-that would totally defeat the purpose of training them to carry toilet paper.
We had a teacup @ss a long time ago. His name was Balldraggin.....Ole Draggin was a good teacup @ss, but we had to have him castrated, well, his name tells all.....Poor Draggin. People still ask about my Balldraggin @ss. We never had to wipe his butt cuz he was a low riding @ss. We're real sorry we never got to breed Balldraggin.
Im so so glad you wrote me back, Cindy. Im so happy your going to sell me some @sses.
Sincerely,
Ussadam Schammer |