Oh Sweetie that is so terrible. I don't think yiou are over reacting at all and I don't think you are a bad person.
A couple of years ago my husband was moving a golf cart that we have here on the acreage. Our little yorkie loved to ride on it so she was trying to jump on, and since he was only going to move it a few feet, he didn't put her on. Well he ran over her. She was lying on her back just kicking,. I scooped her up and we rushed to the vet, all the while I am crying and crying, begging her baby please don't die, please don't die. she just rolled her head and panted.
Well miracle, she was fine, never even had a broken bone. Just in shock and very badly bruised.
But I was hystericfal, and she wasn't even bleeding and I was not the one that injured her. but nevertheless I was hysterical.
So I can imagine how awful you feel.
But that little guy touched your life in a very special a way, and for, who knows what reason, he was taken away. Savor the memories. And cry all you need to.
May God comfort you and bring you peace in your heart. |