Courtney,
I've been reading this and crying for you but I haven't posted because it hit too close to home for me. But, I've decided to share my story with you for what it's worth.
We had major infertility treatments to have our two children. I was not supposed to be able to get pregnant on my own. Well, when my kids were 2 and 4 I found myself pregnant. After I got over the shock, I was very excited. I thought that the pregnancy must have been meant to be since I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant. When I was 5 months pregnant an ultrasound showed that my daughter was severly deformed. She had no brain or back of her skull. As we talked with the doctor, they recommended that I terminate the pregnancy immediatly. I saw no reason to end the pregnancy even though we knew 100% that she would die during the birth. As my pregnancy continued I was having severe health problems. (I nearly died having Megan). Anyway, as my health declined I was told I could die if I didn't end the pregnancy. I didn't want to, but finally chose to because I needed to be there for my two babies. They didn't want me to risk my life when we knew the baby would not live through her birth. So, after much soul searching I chose to be induced at 6 months. Our daughter, Erin, was still born. Now, 11 years later, I know that I needed to be here for the sake of my two children. I love Erin, she is always in my heart, but I would make the same decision again. God bless you Courtney, I would not want to be in your shoes. I am praying for you. Everything happens for a reason even if we never find out what it was. Love ya! |