As a person who has been mentally/physically abused I would definitely warn a new girlfriend if I had the chance. But I would also ask the girl if she wanted the warning as well. And trust me, I dated the man 7 years ago and I am happily married since then with a child. I am not a jealous person; I just would want any girl to know that the guy is mentally disturbed.
I would be worried since he did say that she called the cops on him and she says he's been abusive in the past. I would definitely ask around if he has a history of domestic abuse for your safety. I don't exactly know you very well, but if you have children yourself, it is very important to find out the man's history and if he a criminal one before you let him around the kids. His family will ALWAYS be on his side, so I do not feel that they are the right people to ask.
But you have to find out for yourself if you should take the advice from her or not. It is all in how she approached you. Did she come at you like she was seriously trying to help you? Or did she come at you like a jealous b*tch? I am also a little bit concerned about his reaction. Do you think he reacted that way because there are secrets he doesn't want you to know? But he could just be mad about his ex talking to you. I would definitely talk to him about his reaction, because from the way you spoke he did seem a little violent by storming into the bathroom and tearing you out instead of letting you handle it. Which you were doing just fine. Let him know that you are capable of making your own mind up and you all have to deal with each other civilly for his daughter's sake.
If you are serious about this guy, I would also recommend some outings with the two of you and his daughter so she can develop her own opinion about you. Also, let her mother know if you DO or DO NOT want her opinions about her ex. I am really glad that you have found someone that makes you happy. I also wanted to let you know that people do change, so if you find out something bad about your man, it's not the end of the world. Take care of yourself and good luck! |