ldb51- I would contain the pup in an area that is not carpetted and has access to the doggy door.
Punishing after the fact is not going to help in any way, shape, form, or fashion. He does not "know immediately what you are upset about". What he does know is that Mom has lost it again and it's safest to get hide until she gets over it! There is nothing you can do once the accident has happened to teach him that he did wrong.
Instead, contain him when you are away. When you are home, confine him to the same room as you are in and watch him like a hawk. If you catch him pottying inappropriately, whisk him outside to finish. When you catch him pottying appropriately, treat and praise.
Go back to the basics of housebreaking, in other words!
Good luck!
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