One suggestion....fish...they do not get too big, play rough, hurt each other...unless you get the fighting kind, make noise and who knows if they get up at all hours of the night
I think you may have forgotten puppiness....what you descibe is puppy behavior.......
At this point reading all the posts, I hope you find big pup a forever home...btw, baby's gonna show some of this puppiness too....she may need a new home also.
PS Fish don't potty on the floor either