[PrincessSassy]

I don't know how or where to begin with this. My sweet little Princess Sassypants, my Nibblet, crossed the Rainbow Bridge on May 1st. I was absolutely heartbroken (still am!). I didn't think I would get another Yorkie, but the house was so empty that I kind of/sort of started looking and found a breeder. I get to pick up my new yorkie this coming weekend. I feel confident about the breeder (KNOCK WOOD!); she has good references, answers all my questions, and has been very responsive.

So here's the neurotic part. I still blame myself for my sweet little girl crossing the Rainbow Bridge (She died in my arms suddenly at home.) She had problems with collapsing trachea since she was 8 y.o., but it was being managed (we did have a couple of scares), and she had just gotten testing for suspected Cushings and Addison's disease the week before. The vet (who had known her for years) said I shouldn't blame myself and that I did everything I could for her, but... I guess I have survivor's guilt. I keep going over things, trying to find out what I missed. She was 12, which I know is part of the life span, but still... It all happened so suddenly and on my watch, and I blame myself for it. If I was doing everything right, then why did she die?

It's been 12 years since I've had a puppy in the house, and I'm finding myself... Obsessing, I guess? Hyper-Careful? I'm a ball of nerves. Plus I feel like I'm being disloyal to my little buddy. She was my constant companion for so long! I've been watching all the YouTube videos, Googling Yorkie care, etc.

I guess this is more unloading than anything else. I just want to make sure I'm a good Yorkie mom. I want to make sure I do it right.