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Originally Posted by LordRanger  I know what you mean about being haunted with seeing her suffer. My little guy asphyxiated over a period of about 72 hours; no sleep. What a feeling of helplessness. Those eyes.
You were lucky in that you got to be there and hold her, and that you were able to cut that suffering short. Those last several hours could have been done without. As far as being haunted with making that decision, you were going to be haunted either way. Darned if you do, danged if you don't. |
I have been struggling with lasting mental images of "those eyes" - they yank at my heart and send tears streaming down my face every time. I only know they serve the purpose of ensuring that we know under no uncertain terms that it is time to say goodbye to our precious pooches.
This is the first time I have been with a pet when their life ended. All other pets I ever had were when I was a kid and the pets met with untimely ends or ran away. I felt as though I betrayed her by holding her while the vet injected her. And when her lifeless warm body rested in my arms for the next several minutes while the vet prepared the little basket it was absolutely gut wrenching. I cried so hard I had muscle aches for three days. I was not able to go in the bedroom for a week and when I did, I had to change the furniture around and redecorate because what happened there sent chills throughout my body and tears streaming down. I took it really hard. I probably won't get another pet.
I am sorry you weren't able to be there at the end for your Ranger. My neighbor planned to stay with her dog at home until the end and when he started really struggling, she was going to run him over to the vet, but as she left the room to collect her things, he took his last breath, so ultimately she was not with him for his last breath and she regretted that. We do the best we can under the circumstances and probably most wish for a do over. My mom couldn't bring herself to take our first family dog in to be put down so she asked a family friend to drop him off. My mom had regretted that decision, but when I shared my recent experience with her, she decided she probably did the right thing.