Originally Posted by matese  A story. When my beautiful Matese left me in Oct. 2013 she was 17 years old, I swore, no more dogs, the pain of her loss was too great, the pain in my heart truly felt like I was having a heart attack. Matese was not my first girl to pass, I had others before her, but I had multiple, meaning there were siblings that were grieving, missing their BFF. I couldn’t show my pain, I couldn’t grieve my loss, I had to stay strong for the pups. Matese was the last of my pack, and the only baby I had from a 8 week old puppy to a baby that was deaf, partly blind, dementia had started and she was with me for 17 years. Losing her was unbearable. Shortly after losing her I had to get rid of every dog related item, seeing her bed, toys, harness was to painful. I donated everything of hers and all my passed girls to my local no kill shelter.
6 weeks after her loss my vet calls me, they just got in a surrendered 2 ˝ year old boy, not an abused baby. I was not ready for a dog, I didn’t know if I could live without a baby since I had yorkies 30 plus years but I wanted to try. I told my vet all the reasons I didn’t want a dog at this time or if ever and never wanted a male dog. She kept begging me to “just come to see the dog”. To appease my vet and get her off the phone, I agreed to see the dog. I never wanted to go back to where my babies life was ended, I also agreed to go because my vet thought of ME when this baby came to her, she could have call a number of other clients, but she called me because this furbaby had huge ears, just like Matese had, and I loved those huge ears. This baby reminded her of my Matese (his huge ears lol)and reason she called me.
Knowing I would never own a male dog I felt it was safe “just to see the dog’. When I went the next day they had me wait in the lunch room and bought this little tyke in. I just sat and watched his body languish. Everytime that door opened and a tech came in, he ran to them say like he was saying, are you my new mommy. My heart broke for this little boy, who could just toss him out of their lives. So he came home with me, all unplanned, I didn’t even have a harness or leash to get him out of my vets. Well he was surrendered with a bag of his belongings that had harness, leash and winter coat, and a few other items, a starter. My vet gave me a bag of food, new bed, new beautiful blankie. And home we came.
It was the best unplanned decision I ever made. Cody helped me heal, he made my house a home again, he gave me a reason to get out of bed every day, he took away that horrible pain in my heart. My friends called him my miracle boy because he bought me back to life.
One dog can never, ever “replace” one we have lost. These yorkies are all different in personality, quirky, silly little ways and will always put a smile on your face, even when they are naughty, we just have to laugh at them.
If you are “thinking” you are ready. Only from my personal experience I say “go for it”. I never felt guilty, I knew my Matese would not want me to suffer the way I was, she would know she could never be replaced. I will say I still cried for her and 8 years later I still do, but now I can remember her younger days when she would play in the yard burying then unburying her toys, I smile but there are always tears in my eyes.
I have memorial of her. Her first baby nighty, favorite toy, T-shirt with “Bad to the Bone” on it, my favorite picture of her, all in my office that I see every day. On my deck I keep favorite toy that she would bury over and over every day. She will never be forgotten, and I love her as much as I did when she was with me.
My Cody is a perfect boy, I am blessed to have him, he is so different from any of my passed babies, and I have never, ever compared him to any of my passed babies, he is his own little nutty self.
Good luck with what ever you decide.
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