[Speed]

I had been preparing myself for this day, but it still hurts horribly. We lost our little girl, Paige, Tuesday night.
We had lost our first Yorkie, Pumpkin, in 2010 due to an illness we couldn't defeat. She was only 2 years old. I was so devastated that it took me a month to start to feel normal and I even ended up in the hospital with severe dehydration from not eating/drinking enough.
Her brother, Patrick was a little younger than her, and we got Paige to fill the hole in our family. Well she sure did. She was so cute, playful, and had those unique quirks that made her totally different from Pumpkin and Patrick.
As time went on, she favored me. Always following me around, and she would sit with me in the chair and put her paw on my leg like "This is MY daddy." As time went on, that connection grew even more.
Then we decided to have a child and my wife to stay at home. I was actually really glad for the yorkies as they would have company all day now as my wife and I both worked before.
As our child grew and my wife had to focus on him, my closeness with Paige deepened. She would follow we everywhere...from the second I got home, to when I'd walk to the bedroom to change, and then when I went to the living room to sit down for a few or to go outside where my family was playing, she was there. She was the only dog I had that could lay in my lap for a long time and loved it. She would scratch at my legs to pick her up and just sit with me until something peaked her interest to go bark at and investigate.
Unfortunately, she had already started with kidney disease. She had lost so much weight and we almost thought we lost her a few months back as she woke up unable to walk and I rushed her to the vet where she somehow recovered that day with no ill effects. I really thought we were going to lose her then, I felt we got lucky with a second chance. She kept losing weight though and started having trouble walking. We were worried her kidneys were getting worse and brought her to the vet to make sure she was still having a good quality of life and we were doing all we could to take care of her.
Then Tuesday, we're not entirely sure what happened, but she passed away quickly while laying in her favorite spot on our couch. I drove her to the vet, knowing she was gone, and they confirmed. We plan to get her cremated like we did with Pumpkin, so we'll have our two girls next to each other.
I really can't describe how sad I am right now. Even though we were preparing for this day due to her kidney disease, it's still so hard to lose her like this, even though she didn't suffer. I think having a kid is a distraction as we have to take care of him, but it's so hard for me since she was my little girl. I've always hated knowing that we outlive our pets, and I want them to live forever. I have so many memories with my beautiful little girl...I know it's going to take a while before those memories turn from feeling loss to feeling appreciation.
Paige...I loved you so much. You were so special, and I can't even think of how to describe the awesomeness that you brought into our lives. We are going to miss you terribly.

Love,
Daddy