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Originally Posted by Pink Dog  I don't know how anyone does it. I don't think I can go through this again. I have little Mia who, ironically, we called "Cali's dog". But I told hubby, this is it, losing them is too painful. It's everything I was afraid of so I don't want to get anymore dogs.
How can 3.5# have so much weight on my life?  
Thank you to everyone for the condolences! This place was a Godsend 8 years ago when Cali first became crippled at the age of 7.
Any advice on how to handle Mia? She stayed by herself for the first time today. She didn't like it but we had to get groceries. Since Wed we have let her sleep in the room with us cause she doesn't want to stay in her room without Cali. I just don't know what to do so she's been getting spoiled. Should I rearrange everything (all the accommodations I made for my lil crippled Cali? Should I let Mia have her way?  |
Just teach her gradually to accept your leaving her inside alone with Cali with the door shut as you walk matter-of-factly(no goodbyes or longing looks at her) into the yard a few paces, her treat in your pocket. Once she's been quiet for say 30 seconds(patience, this can take a while and she'll smell you out there and keep it up to call you back). But once she's gone quiet, rush into the house with praise(nothing to excite her but a gentle pat/scratch and a quiet "good girrrrrrrl", big smile all over your face and her favorite treat. Stay with her a few minutes and repeat once or twice more, staying out until she goes quiet, if for nothing else to catch her breath! Then rush in smiling, the gentle pat(not on the top of the head, dog's hate that) or quick back scratch and a treat. Stay with her a while until she's calm again.
Next day, repeat your session three tries. Keep this up for a week if it takes it for her to go quiet enough to learn what happens once she does. Once she catches on, silence buys her your very happy presence again PLUS her favorite treat, she'll quickly go quiet to rush the process along but the patience of Job may be required if she's terribly worried about now suddenly being left. Once you always reassure her your happy, quick return, praise and a treat, she will begin to fear it all much less.
Than, gradually slowly increase your time out of the house and once she's up to several minutes of silence(likely listening for you), walk down the block each time and then back, come in the house if she's quiet once you approach the door, smiling, praising and treating. Keep it up until she has this process down pat, has learned that by being quiet, you come back inside to her pleased, praising and treating, you can take your keys and purse with you, prepared for this to likely excite her by the "tell" you're preparing to go out but just keep at it until she learns quiet buys her what she wants.
When she's less worried about being left with Cali alone, you can leave her with a treat-dispensing toy(use dry kibble or a less favorite treat) she can play with, drive down the block and return, being sure she's learned to stay quiet. Then you can drive around the block, nothing too long to worry her unduly but at first she likely will be, hearing the car starting up. Each time you come in the door, be smiling with your whole face, meaningful praise and her favorite treat. Eventually, she'll learn how to quiet herself and eventually realize your leaving doesn't bring on her doom! Always leave her with a treat-dispensing toy or something she dearly loves, along with a worn tee-shirt in the room so she'll still sense your comforting scent until she's learned to quiet or otherwise busy herself during your absences.