Copy of a DM to Chiibluv - Veronica, I sent earlier tonight. I decided have to share now that wound is open wider. Only way I can share such news now that Veronica found his picture, bio, know others soon will, too. Was pain out of the blue but time has come. Decided this is time to share the awful news with my fellow YT'ers. Sorry had to do it this way. May not be back on YT for while, don't know if I can:
Originally Posted by ChibiLuv
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United Yorkie Rescue - A 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Yorkshire Terrier Rescue Organization
How crazy! Doppelgänger!
I almost thought it was him but then I knew you’d definitely call me first right
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Oh, I didn't expect this! The pain too raw, new, to try to share yet. But you asked so I have to answer.
No, it's my baby Tibbe. You were in a terrible place, grieving after losing Chib, me, too. I'd already asked too much of you once so couldn't again. Besides, I couldn't pay you either now.
My health took a total dive, couldn't recover from blood-loss anemia from that last total hip replacement, no matter what they've tried, the anemia persists. Lost weight, all blood counts low in everything, can't eat, fatigued beyond belief, fell in back yard, now both replaced hips hurting so bad can barely get up at times, right hip has to be re-replaced when can tolerate it. Migraine headaches began so bad I had to have Botox injections, helped some. Doctor says it like PTSD type reaction to all the pain, stress and he didn't know how guilty I was feeling about Tibbe's poor lifestyle.
I came to realize I could no longer provide my precious little love the life he deserves.My beloved baby has earned the right to a fun, happy, worry-free life, get walked daily, round-housed with, chased as he loves, lifted up when his arthritis makes him hesitate to use doggie steps. I couldn't anymore. Couldn't even bathe him the last 2 mos. He worried about me, seemed so tense, tried to help, so morose when I couldn't play with him.
Asked my dog-dedicated son who has worked with dogs, training aggressive dogs, behavior modification, etc., and worked in rescue to take over as I couldn't emotionally handle the terms of giving my baby up to foster.
I just couldn't do it, Veronica. I'm so depleted, cried every time I spoke of it and Dad immediately found him a wonderful caretaker, a real Yorkie lover whose last Yorkie baby has been gone quite a while. Dan drove him down, visited w/new mom, checked out his new home. Dan says he's now living in a luxury glass-backed home overlooking a golf course near Austin, Texas, with her daughter and family, their dogs, a few doors down, to fill out his family circle. He's such a little ham, his new caretaker said he's eating up all the social time, play and attention and activity he's now getting when I last spoke to her Tuesday. Cried rest of day, it helps, hurts so to hear. My baby's getting a good life again!
The guilt is somewhat less now that Tibbe's getting a good life but replaced by utter loss, pain & failure. No one ever thinks they'll get this disabled, fail their beloved, dog of their heart. I never did.
Just couldn't share it on YT yet, not until I feel way way stronger. Now the shock has worn off and the real hurt and loss has set in. Tibbe's gone. No more warm Tibbe body nearby, no Tibbe kisses or hugs, no nightlong cuddle sleeps. No Buddy Days where he got all his wishes filled. House is empty. His things are all over, as if he'll walk right in. He may not, not ever again if I can't get all problems fixed.
Not prepared even now to share this news with my sister or rest of family, the wound too new, raw, but couldn't just give you of all people, Veronica, a terse or brief reply. You asked, deserved to know the truth. You were a lifesaver for Tibbe and me once and I owe you an answer since you had to ask though honestly I wish you hadn't yet, the pain is so bad, it's really bad. Someone who has to foster, to give up their very own beloved baby may be racked with pain, not ready to give any answer, especially now. That's me but I had to answer you. This is killing me right now, so better close. Sorry for the bitterness, it's just the hurt talking. You are right. My baby Tibbe, my cute, cartoon, darling dog, my heart, my smile, has gone away. To a better, fun,sociall, active life, it seems but am wrought w/guilt and hope, prayer that he's better off. I love him so. I love him forever. You're right. My Tibbe's gone, Veronica. He's gone. Jeanie
Please, please, please don't share this. I can't deal with any more direct messages about Tibbe or others discussing my little boy! My Tibbe is mine in my heart and soul but he's gone to a much better life and it's killing me.
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