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monicajean55 · 05-26-2019, 08:26 AM

Hi -

We got our dog 2 years ago when my youngest headed off to college. She was a gift to me for being an empty nest Mom

I watched shelter sites every day seeking out the perfect companion. I expanded my search to 100 miles after nearby didn't return anything after a few months.
That led me to our Bailey -
I fell in love with her photo, took the afternoon off work and went to visit her by myself. My husband couldn't get the time off work.
When I held her I knew I'd found my dog.
She was terrified in the beginning, of course.
On the 4th day we had her, my husband developed a horrible flu and had to stay home for 1 1/2 weeks. Due to that, Bailey bonded to him.
He's a big dog person and didn't like her in the beginning but softened.
Now, 2 years later, she's his dog. Sits next to him all the time. Follows him everywhere.
I know it's not Bailey's fault. I know it's not my husband's fault. It is what it is and no matter how much time I spend with her, walking, playing, etc. She still looks everywhere for my husband to enter the room. We've tried all kinds of tricks - my husband even rejecting her. That was worse and made me feel terrible - I made him stop.
So here we are - as I said it's no one's fault - but the whole purpose of this was to fill a hole in me for being an empty nest Mom.
Technically in my husband's eyes she is still my dog - so I get to walk her 2 times a day, clean up her accidents, feed her, give her medicine, take her to the vet. All the responsibilities w/o any of the rewards. Feels
unfair.

That hole is still there - so questions.
Would it be horrible to look for another dog (in addition to Bailey - not to replace her)
Would it be horrible to ask my husband to take over all the responsibilities since Bailey has chosen him?
I feel cheated and hurt and angry and ashamed for feeling all of those things.

Please help.

05-26-2019, 08:26 AM	#1
monicajean55 YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Roseville, CA, US Posts: 3	Ashamed but Feeling Cheated Hi - We got our dog 2 years ago when my youngest headed off to college. She was a gift to me for being an empty nest Mom I watched shelter sites every day seeking out the perfect companion. I expanded my search to 100 miles after nearby didn't return anything after a few months. That led me to our Bailey - I fell in love with her photo, took the afternoon off work and went to visit her by myself. My husband couldn't get the time off work. When I held her I knew I'd found my dog. She was terrified in the beginning, of course. On the 4th day we had her, my husband developed a horrible flu and had to stay home for 1 1/2 weeks. Due to that, Bailey bonded to him. He's a big dog person and didn't like her in the beginning but softened. Now, 2 years later, she's his dog. Sits next to him all the time. Follows him everywhere. I know it's not Bailey's fault. I know it's not my husband's fault. It is what it is and no matter how much time I spend with her, walking, playing, etc. She still looks everywhere for my husband to enter the room. We've tried all kinds of tricks - my husband even rejecting her. That was worse and made me feel terrible - I made him stop. So here we are - as I said it's no one's fault - but the whole purpose of this was to fill a hole in me for being an empty nest Mom. Technically in my husband's eyes she is still my dog - so I get to walk her 2 times a day, clean up her accidents, feed her, give her medicine, take her to the vet. All the responsibilities w/o any of the rewards. Feels unfair. That hole is still there - so questions. Would it be horrible to look for another dog (in addition to Bailey - not to replace her) Would it be horrible to ask my husband to take over all the responsibilities since Bailey has chosen him? I feel cheated and hurt and angry and ashamed for feeling all of those things. Please help.