[yorkietalkjilly]

I lost my first Yorkie, little Scotty, in a sudden, horrific, similar way and though I'd had many dogs in my life, my relationship with my first Yorkie was just totally different. He really was a personal dog, totally focused on and devoted just to me. He made it known that he much preferred my company to the other dogs or people in the house and would fold himself into my arms for a cuddle anytime he could manage it. Followed me into my bedroom for our special time from the first day I came home from work. Most dogs aren't that fond of prolonged cuddling or hugging unless it's their idea - they approach you but if you scoop them up for a cuddle, they usually resist after a bit. Not Scotty. He just nuzzled up and truly fed off that closeness. He'd look up at you in that special way during a hug and just melt your heart.

Scotty was always eager for a cuddle, seemed to draw strength from closeness, but the next moment he was a totally self-sufficient, independent, trouble-seeking little tyrant who ruled our family with an iron paw. He had opinions on everything everybody did and spoke to those as he pleased. And at 3 lbs. with enough charming personality and teddy bear looks, nobody minded, everybody was drawn to him. He found his trouble around every corner but was always so loving, so entertaining, so much FUN.

Suddenly, all of that joy was gone. Scotty was gone - all that love and cute and fun - all suddenly gone at the vet's - and life just seemed to take a deep dive into blackness. I missed the next four days from work home just mourning him. Thankfully I worked for a CEO and a company who totally understood, even my coworkers(they'd all met Scotty). Called my son who had grown up and moved into his own place and he boohoo'ed like a baby - the only time I've known my adult son to cry. Weeks turned into months and finally I grew cold toward having another pet of my own. Rescue work and dog training helped keep me close to dogs but none of them were my little Scotty.

It was 5 years before I could face even thinking about another personal dog, 8 years of researching, talking with and visiting breeders before I brought Jilly home. She was the runt of her litter, had spent the fist 3 months of her life in the breeder's work apron after her incubator time. She required a lot of special care. But waiting that long was a huge mistake. Any precious Yorkie would have gladly helped me through that darkest of times and that awful, ripping pain had I been able to reach out but I didn't know then any other Yorkie could do that for me. I thought it was just a Scotty thing and was gone forever. But I've since learned, with now three such extra-special Yorkie relationships, that all Yorkies have the qualities that Scotty had if you put in the time and effort with the dog. You get back what you give them in spades. A Yorkie is a dog you can have a special relationship with as they are unlike other dogs in the way they prefer their particular human, only you, and make helping and keeping you loved, coddled and cared for, your life managed and entertained their entire life's work.

Sadly though, after losing Jilly, I waited another 5 years before looking again, six years before I brought Tibbe home. I thought after Scotty and Jilly, there was no way I could have that Yorkie thing a third time so I was especially unmotivated to even try a third time, though eventually I missed Yorkiness so much, I began looking again. I looked for rescues in every ad, shelter, pound in our area, drove miles after work and weekends, searched for show-quality breeders with top reps, dogs and even show-quality, standard Poodles but only a Yorkie along the lines of Scotty and Jilly with those squared-up,compact little bodies, small, prick ears, oozing personality and cute teddy bear faces would work I finally decided. So after a year of looking, Tibbe came home with me.

He was a bigger Yorkie, had spent his 9 mos. of life living in a cage under a shed in a what turned out to be a hobby breeder's back yard, very lean, unhappy at the time, looked over-long in the back(I like cobby bodies), was almost feral, kennel crazy and frightened of everything in life. He had lots of congenital issues, medical conditions - all the result of irresponsible breeding but Jilly's breeder had had the litter & breeders sort of dumped on her by that breeder to place in homes and when I called her, finally ready for another Jilly, I went to look at some of her puppies. Instead I saw poor little Tibbe - running in circles. He was so frightened and insecure by the sudden changes in his life, being inside a home, he didn't know what else to do. He fought me, screamed when I approached him and tried to bite, spent most of his time in a panic his first month here. But constant TLC, eventually love(yes, that took a while for both of us), patience, positive-reinforcement training and constant support and finally he just blossomed. Gained weight, muscled up, got a cobby, sturdy little body! He become another Scotty-Jilly, squared. I call him my "Shirley-Temple" dog. He's that cute, that gifted, that into totally into making you happy the way that child star seemed devoted to entertaining you. He's everything I had so badly needed, yet another Scotty/Jilly love and I thank God for him every day of my life. I truly hope you can one day find what you had with Maezie again. I think you can once you're ready.