Thank you everyone for your sympathy. I have thrown myself into work and worked overtime last night and probably tonight, will be busy with my son's soccer tomorrow, and really am trying so hard not to think about it. I feel like I failed her for not being home where she was comfortable. I knew she wasn't doing well but we went anyway.
Our veterinary hospital at home is so accommodating, when we had to put Layla down last year they let us spend as much time as we wanted with her in a private room with couches, and kept coming back to check until we were ready to let her go. This random vet we found in another town kept pushing to just give her the anesthesia while my husband wasn't even in the room with us and I was bawling. After she was asleep he took her to the back to give her the final injection while we sat in the waiting room. It hurts so badly that I couldn't hold her as she passed. I was the only human in the world she felt comfortable with. I couldn't even be with her at the end. I know she was asleep and didn't know, but I wanted to be there for her. My only peace is that I know without a doubt she was in pain and was struggling to breathe, her temperature had dropped so she was hypothermic, she couldn't move, and we had to do something. There is no doubt it was her time. I don't have to second guess that for the rest of my life, at least.
Our remaining dog is quite lost and sad. The two of them were abandoned together and were so attached we had to adopt them as a pair. When he got sick in January with his heart condition we never thought we'd be saying goodbye to Lucy first. He has been moping around and isn't his normal self. I hope it doesn't negatively impact his health as well. He was given 3-6 months to live in January but I honestly can't go through this again so soon. A year ago we had three healthy dogs, as far as we knew.
__________________ Lindsey and Layla, Lucy, and Kash  |