[YorkieMomNYC]

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. There really are no words to describe the pain. Just have comfort in knowing that he had a wonderful life, sadly the same cannot be said for many animals.

Originally Posted by aweitzm1

It breaks my heart to write this post. I think I still have not processed the whole situation. 9 days ago Boomer was diagnosed with Lymphoma Cancer. I was told it was stage III but I chose not to do any additional testing since it wouldn't matter in my treatment of him.

Thursday I went to an Oncologist appointment. Originally it was scheduled for 1/16/17 but after reviewing the records the Oncologist wanted to see him ASAP so I went in last Thursday (1/12/17). This was just trying to process the news that he had cancer for only 24 hours. I was in survivor mode. Trying to figure out my next steps and do what is right for my family. Boomer deteriorated so much since the biopsy on (1/6/17). He was so lethargic barely eating and just not himself. It broke my heart.

I made the decision after speaking with the Oncologists to only give him prednisone. I knew it was not a cure but hopefully would have given me more time with him as I was told if he did nothing than I had only a matter of weeks. Well the first two days was amazing. His lymph node decreased in size, was eating and barking again. It was like I had my old Boomer back. I was trying not to get my hopes up and kept saying to myself this is only temporary.

Thumper was excited to have his brother back. They were playing and kissing again. Well on Saturday night (1/14/17) I saw that his chest and head shaking so I felt his heart rate and it was going a mile a minute. He was still alert and responding to me, eating and drinking water so I didn't want to rush him to the ER for nothing. I checked his temp it was all normal. I emailed the oncologist and they said I just needed to use my own judgment so I decided to wait it out.

Throughout the night he was having trouble getting comfortable but that was it. Thumper was leaving him alone which was unusual. Well this morning Boomer woke me up happy and wanting breakfast. It looked like his shaking was gone. Well I fed him and gave him his meds. He then curled back up and was loving on his brother. I kept thinking I need to keep a picture of this as he hadn't done it in a while. His shaking returned but otherwise seemed fine. He was even chasing his friends outside. We went for a walk and I gave him some more food. I felt I had an appointment tomorrow with my primary vet and it could wait.

I emailed the oncologist this morning and asked if the heart rate was associated with his meds dosage as he was on 10 mg. She said it could be his tummy so give him some pepcid ac which I did. Well around 11:30 am he got worse and was now panting trying to get comfortable but not able to. I called the Vet and asked to be seen today. I knew in my heart it was time. I got an appointment for 1 pm today. Well within 30 minutes it got so bad that I believe he either had a heart attack or seizure because he was unable to stand and was in so much pain. He couldn't keep his head up. I called back the vet and said I am on my way in. She called the vet and he met me at his office. I had to baby carry him because he kept trying to move in my arms. It was awful I never saw anything like it. His head was lopsided and he could barely breathe.

I was struggling. I was trying to wait for my dog walker (Boomer's second mom to meet me at the vet so she could say goodbye) They loved each other dearly. The vet sedated Boomer and told me there is nothing left for him to do. I chose to put him down. I was crying the entire time. His brother Thumper was with him but I don't know if he actually understood because he just wanted the attention on him.

This took a total of about an hour. It happened way too fast. My vet felt that he may have had a mass on his lung because he has never seen a case of Lymphoma go this fast without it spreading to other organs. I am still not sure if it was a cause of the cancer or the prednisone.

What makes today even harder is that tomorrow is my mom's five year anniversary dying from Colon Cancer. I just didn't want to have to put him down this weekend.

Thumper is sad. I asked the vet to put him on some anxiety/anti-deppressants to help him. He is ok when I am around but will bark nonstop when I leave the apartment. He is tough to gage because he isn't very affectionate so he is just laying next to me but looks so sad.

I was crying the whole time but now I am numb. I can't cry or even feel anything. I don't think this is normal. I hate myself that I do not feel anything. I am just going through the everyday motions trying to comfort Thumper.

I chose not to keep Boomer's ashes but they gave me a sand paw print I will display when I am ready. Right now I cannot look at it.

My vet actually told me the best thing for Thumper is to get him a companion so he is not alone. I actually agree with him. I hate the thought that he will be left alone when I am at work all day. I have always known I always wanted two yorkies at one time. My family thinks i am crazy to think about it but it makes me happy. I am not rushing into anything because I want to rescue again and also want a male. There is nothing in my area at the moment but I know when I find the right one I will get him. Whether that is in the next few weeks or a year from now. He won't replace Boomer, because no one could but he can bring joy to both me and Thumper again.

Thank you all for listening and being here in my time of need.