thank you for your help!
whenever she sleeps with us, she seems more pleasant to be around, more energetic, more fun, absolutely no accidents, has a much better routine. when she sleeps in the crate, she doesn't sleep as well, goes in her crate (which throws her off the rest of the day), and you can tell she gets visibly angry with us the first few seconds after we let her out. it's kind of funny
i think i'll just stick with her sleeping in bed with us. we've been crate training since we ditched her pen, and it doesn't go well. she hates it in there. that's what led us to trying her sleeping in our bed. and she does wonderfully.