What a beautiful baby girl and what a lovely poem.....such a touching tribute to Ruby.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please don't feel guilty for anything...this was not due to anything you did. You clearly loved Ruby so very much and took such wonderful care of her. She was so lucky to have had you and your husband and your whole family.
Grieving is a process...each person goes through what they must go through .. there is no set time for it. In time your precious memories of her will help to heal your loss ... the pain is very real. They are indeed part of our family. I am glad you found YT where people do understand.