Finally! We've tried just about everything, and after her visit yesterday she calmly walked over, and went ON the pad. Peeing on the pad, no sweat! she can hold her pee pee in and pretty much has been able to since day one. She's come home mostly peeing on that pad, unless it's too dirty- her version which is any more than two patches. Even when I figured out she likes to poop away from her pee pad, not even extra pads did it.
But finally, today, it clicked. Man she got lots of love, 'specially from hubby, who doesn't even have to pick any of this up.
. I gave her a few pringles as a reward- her very, very, favorite. I hope this sticks, because I was expecting the outdoor astro turf indoor potty thing to do the trick. Can't stop smiling. I was able to do this thanks to the posts on here, so thank you!