Oh!! My heart did a boing boing boing pogo kind of bounce in my chest reading your story and all the posts following. How utterly terrifying for you! And of course for Piper! I am so very sorry that happened to you.
I have been super aware lately of how often we humans gain personal esteem by the way our animals behave. I was at Trout Lake in East Vancouver with my daughter and her lab and Monty was on leash running around. A mid sized dog came running up to say hi and I just bent over and picked up Monty. There was something about him ... an interest. Not sure but I didn't like it. The owner was confused because Monty had been playing with the other big dogs. He sort of challenged me on it ... like because I was nervous of his dog it meant that he was a bad pet owner. it took a few sentences of me explaining my own nervousness ... it didn't have anything to do with his dog. That because he had been attacked ... I just go with what I am feeling in the moment. He seemed to accept that.
Please try not to be too hard on yourself although I do know the horror of that responsibility of not listening to your gut which is why I use the "try" word.
I flip the negative shame/damning kind of feelings I put on myself in these situations into gratitude to the Universe for helping me learn such a powerful lesson and Monty didn't die.
Thank you for sharing your story so bravely. I have learned from you and from Piper ... and the message I have taken to heart is reinforcing that if I feel hinky ... then don't. Don't try and make sense of it inside. Just don't. Don't worry about offending the human owner. Just don't. They will either understand or they won't and if they don't ... shrug... oh f*ckin well right? Smile. "My" people understand. And in spite of all my desire to keep him safe, it is still an unsafe world we live in so don't live in fear and uncertainty, just do my best and explore and enjoy life and all the beauty it offers. |