Thank you so much for your words of comfort. There was a tiny piece of me that has been a bit afraid to post this story for fear of judgment and rejection. "She should have researched having a Yorkie before getting one." "She should have known better than to take him to a park." The damning voices of shame in my own head projected onto others. Smile. I can be quite silly when I am in a place of fear.
The park is Serpentine Dog Off Leash on 76ave & about 123st in Newton.
Serpentine Dog-Off-Leash Park | City of Surrey. It really is a lovely park although it is quite spacious so dogs can be further away from their humans at times.
I am not quite sure how I feel about going back. Even though 90% of the time I did keep him on a leash and he was able to play with other dogs... or was in my arms when it felt hinky, the risk is being evaluated within me. This morning I took him to be groomed so he is nice and tidy before his neuter tomorrow and I took him to the park because it is big and open and he could tire himself out beautifully. It was super early and I knew no one else would be there. As it stand inside of me right now, that would be the only time I would take him there aside from when my friend takes her dog (it's the only park around where her dog can get a super good run) and then I will be very careful keeping Monty close.
Even now when I am meeting people on the street or in the Green Timbers Park or on-leash wooded walks, I find I am super protective of Monty and distrustful of people's dogs. Today I begin the conversation with "Good morning. Is your dog friendly?" even when the dog is one big wiggle puddle ... gives the human a heads up that I am the nervous one and they are a bit more attentive to their pet. Actually works brilliantly! Surprising how often people have said "no not really" or "sometimes" which is when I pull Monty back and they do an "air hello" to each other.
Yep. Nothing quite like a chomp on the nose to help this human be protective of his wee snout especially as it is still tender.
It does make me a little sad too though. I kinda hate it sometimes when innocence has been lost. Can't unring that naive bell. I can never go back to that lovely place where I got to enjoy the pure pleasure of meeting a new dog. Now it will always have a reality stain of ... safe? Not in a paranoid way - but in a "knowing" way, a wise way.
Am I unhappy to live in this reality? No. Absolutely not. Adapt. Life is fraught with danger and this has just been a rude awakening that sometimes life happens and sometimes dogs just go berserk. It happens. That being said though, I do wish I had gotten his name and number because he should be allowed to have his dog in an off leash park. Who knows what happened with the first unprovoked attack but sometimes that happens. It's him going after Monty even stronger the second time that has me concerned for other people's dogs. I feel responsible. Not in a unhealthy way, just wish I could protect. Make sense?
I remember when my children were small. I was sitting in the living room watching them do running summer saults. They were amazing. It was so much fun. And as I was watching I had a white hot flash stab bolt of fear as I imagined them rolling and their heads being at the wrong angle and "snap" they could literally break their necks. That was a risk, and a reality. I remember as soon as that flash hit and I played out the movie, I immediately said "no." I am not going to raise them in that kind of fear. Never. I will do my very best to keep them as safe as I can but they will live their life and have their fun and if an accident happens ... so be it.
Kind of feeling the same way with Monty. I am not going to deny him the joys of greeting another dog, or playing or sniffing. I am however, going to be much more selective. I do understand that even as much as I love and trust my boy, it could be him that has one of "those" moments and acts out aggressively to another dog in play. He has after all gotten growly at one or two adults on our walks - for no reason whatsoever. And besides, he is after all - a dog. And we all have bad moments.
And sniffing is well....
