[capt_noonie]

Lots of good advise already given. I will second taking to the vet first to rule out UTI or any other condition. I also think the pup may be jealous.

I don't think it's too late to crate train. Or at least put up baby gates to confine in the kitchen while you guys are gone during the day. Make sure she has a cozy warm house or bed in the kitchen though bc kitchens are colder than the rest of the house usually.

I also agree that you guys are actively ignoring her requests to go out to pee during the night. If she needs to go, she's going to go. So when she wakes you up, take her out. If you don't want her going, then you must take her out right before bed. You say your wife is a light sleeper. so if she wakes up before you and doesn't want to or refuses to take her out, have her wake you up to take her out to go, otherwise she will go in the room.

It does sound like your wife has already checked out on this dog, which is sad but I understand with a new baby, the focus has to be on the human. If you aren't ready to give up, but your wife already has, you must realize that this is now your responsibility to fix this.

Could be a simple fix if she is somehow sick, and perhaps that is causing her to pee and to lash out at other dogs.