[capt_noonie]

Originally Posted by Lilah Charm

Oh my gosh! I hope you get out today that would be great. Yes, she drinks every day and about one night a week goes too far and has a black out drunk session. Same with my mother so I guess I figured that was a typical portrait of alcoholism. My dad gave me his aa book when I was twelve but by fourteen I was into other things and then I hitchhiked south to follow rainbow trails. God bless my babies, motherhood saved my life, I am sure of it. Visited the grave of my uncle yesterday on All Souls' Day to bring him flowers along with my grandparents, he died at twenty one in a drunk driving accident. My grandfather on my mothers side died of liver failure in his early forties and bled out on the kitchen floor in my grandmothers arms, in the room upstairs in the same house another uncle drank a half gallon of vodka and committed suicide- the list goes on but I will stop here. There are so many beautiful, wonderful people drowning in their own suffering and alcohol is a very dangerous one. I have to note here because I would be remiss if I did not, that my beloved is a beer brewer by trade. I don't personally drink beer but it is interesting- we come from different places on the topic. It is amazing to me to know someone who does not come from a line of addiction suffering and can't relate at all to my experiences- he honors my experiences and feelings and is very respectful. He probably has two beers with dinner once a week- if that. But his attitude toward alcohol is more lax then mine, I will have some red wine now and again but that is about it. I often do not finish my glass and I suppose it is my internal cautionary flag knowing that my blood lines do carry the bane of addiction. A lot of people who have not struggled with addiction can't understand and are often not supportive of your attempt to be free from whatever substance you are struggling with if for them it is not a challenge, so please be careful. You are in charge of your own body and you know what you need and how you respond and nobody else can know that like you can, so you keep yourself safe- no matter what anyone else is doing. You will go back to your home soon and everything around you will be like it was when you left it- you have changed though, and you have to hold on to that to protect yourself. So stay strong, cause here comes the hard part! But you can do it feel free to pm me, you have and will be totally on my mind and my heart goes out to you through your suffering and struggles.

Wow. I am so sorry to hear all that. That is very tragic. I'm glad you have not gone down the same path.