thank you so much for your kind words.. it means so much to me...
this week have been so hard on me and my boyfriend.. we are mentally and physically exhausted...
we keep seeing empty playpen and his crate and its so hard to look at them without tearing..
kupo was the best friend i'll ever have... i suffer severe depression, especially after my grandmother passed away couple years ago... honestly.. i had those thoughts where i thought.. what if i did something stupid to myself... but when kupo came along, he saved me, and i never had those thoughts again... i was actually going to see my docs to see if kupo can be my emotional support animal, since he indeed was helping me with everything... it just really sucks so much that all this happend...
i just got the gross autopsy report today.... it was found that he choked on something... we are not sure what it is... but the doctor at the autopsy said that it was pretty big and so deep down his larynx, that even if i did the heimrich maneuver right, it wouldn't have saved him... she called it a *freak* accident (which kinda made me feel worse about it), but she also said that it was really rare that puppies die like this... she said out of all puppies she've seen, case like this occurred only maybe about 1% and when kupo's regular vet contacted me, she said about same... that it was a rare "freak" incident and that i shouldn't blame myself and all that...
kupo already was sent to the pet cremation center and we are to get him on tuesday... (i guess *freak* accident/incidents are really meant for such occasions.... still weird way to say things i think... meh)
another update regarding the girl... she's supposed to come either tomorrow or on sunday.. .depending on if the pet nanny meets up with the pet transporter from europe in arranged time or not... but if everything goes well i should have her at 11am.. but i'm so scared...
i tried my best to care for kupo.. gave him best food.. and did my best for him and something like this happens... the new girl, nami, will be a small girl.. and i know that small yorkies have more tendency to have health problems... when i was talking to the vet and kupo's trainer regarding this, they were trying to reassure me saying that everything will be fine since i care for animals alot and what happened to kupo couldn't have been helped... and we tried best to try to save him.. and that it was a rare case...
i'm not sure what's going to happen... i know i'm not suppsed to show sadness infront of pets since they'll get worried and depressed as well, but i'm not sure if i can hide my feelings... i just hope that i can show her that i still do love her, even though i havent met her yet, and that i'll care for her as best as i can...
but again... thank you so much for your kind words... it definitely helped me get through this a bit... and i'm sorry for depressing posts... |