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Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly  Keep on taking it day at a time and after a while, little by little your anger begins to diminish and you gradually forgive yourself - even though it wasn't your fault. We almost always fault ourselves for not seeing that our baby was more ill than we thought. And there is always great anger when the vet misses it. Vets can save our dogs and get them through the worst of the worst times far more times than not but they do miss things - it's an awful truth. It grinds at us endlessly when they do miss something vital but in time, we realize had the vet seen anything that truly alarmed him or made him think in any way our baby was so seriously ill, if he was a really good vet, we know he would have taken further steps to test, add more treatment or hospitalize. Good vets want to help all of their little patients.
Once you get past the shock and begin to lose the anger and time passes, a human will instinctively begin to slowly heal from grief. A healthy human body and mind are programmed to heal. And in time, our mind and body urge us to begin to do just that - to reach out from grief and constant sadness to life and hope, a path forward. At some point the horror begins to recede and wonderful memories of Baxter will slide into place, become sweet rather than so painful. Make no mistake, you'll still cry and grieve but life will begin to have meaning and some fun in it again.
As you heal, you appreciate what you have left that means so much to you all the more and take great pains to show that appreciation, give more of yourself where you can. You've got little Kaylee there who is likely still going through her loss of a packmate and so needs you to help her adjust to the new reality of being an only-dog.
Hopefully, if you keep on talking about Baxter and your grief, begin to get out more often and giving Kaylee extra time and attention, teasing her out of herself, you'll start to feel better before too long. Remember, Baxter would want more than anything for you to be happy and whole again. Hugs to you and Kaylee - hope her biopsy results are good. |
Your many words of comfort and compassion are deeply appreciated. Tomorrow marks 7 weeks that my Baxter has been gone. And although I do still cry, I have to be honest and say that being a part of this YorkieTalk community has truly helped me to spend minutes, hours of distraction. And that is all starting to slowly make things more manageable without breaking down. I too believe that the human body is made to heal from grief and tragedy. And the issue becomes that there is always a FIRST TIME in a persons life where that grief from a death that resulted is overwhelming and you wonder how you will EVER get through it. I LITERALLY NEVER lost anything that I loved so much. I have been lucky in that respect. I have to remember what you said, that my Baxter (who was so lively, "the life of the party" and happy) would not want me to carry on like this. It is easier said than done, but if I keep thinking & saying it, then hopefully I will one day naturally "really feel" that way. Thank you for all the compassion and time you have taken to reach out to a stranger. I sincerelyl appreciate it!
Chrissy