[oneofakind864]

Yavenay..


You nailed it. I am feeling guilty- even though Chanel was far from an alpha- she was a attention hog and got upset when she felt like another dog was getting attention from me or Michael. ESPECIALLY after she went blind. She was paranoid that she coudn't see when one of us patted another dog- so she got very whiny whenever one was around. ( She just knew she was missing out on some rubs! LOL) because of that I was feeling VERY guilty about getting a new one. But I know from past experience the longer I wait to get a new one- the more likely I am to start feeling like another dog could never measure up to Chanel.


I waited 12 years between Katy ( the first dog I ever truly bonded with) and Chanel And I do think it was too long and I stressed about being able to love Chanel as much as I did Katy. Now that's what I am reminding myself of. I loved Katy...but I ADORED Chanel. And I can only hope I will love Risa even more. And I think that is what is causing my guilt-"The thought of loving another dog more than I did Chanel". As I get older I find I have more time to bond with my doggies as I become less "all about me" Like I think I was when I was younger. Katy was in my 20's, Chanel was late 30's and 40's. And Risa Will be late 40's hopefully into my 60's. I just hope Chanel will forgive me and when I get to heaven I will have a blanket of fur babies who all get along instead of wanting to be the one and only.


I'm picking up Risa this Saturday and am really looking forward to meeting her. I hope the trauma of leaving her Mommy for someone new isn't so hard on her. And I hope that I can make her feel loved and comforted as soon as possible....But leaving Chanel's ashes and blanket at home to travel for the first time without her in 12 years is going to be HARD, And that empty carrier I'll be carrying on the way to Kansas is going to do a real number on me. It's very mixed emotions.