From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your kind replies. I truly enjoyed reading each one and they helped me.
MarkFromSea: I genuinely loved the backpack analogy. I will forever use that when things are getting too heavy to bear. I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend 19 years ago. It constantly amazes me how these loves of ours, in the form of furry creatures, stay so close to our hearts.
Dayswalters: Thank you so much. I am trying to forgive myself. Some days are much easier than others, and granted I am so far from where I have come, but it is still difficult. Hearing kind words like yours help me so.
Jakester: I am so very sorry for the loss of your German Shepherd. We actually have a GSD (well, she is really my husbands) and the bond developed between that breed and owner is really something special.
Matese: I am so, so sorry for the loss of your dear, sweet girl 17 months ago. Doesn't it seem like, even though many months have passed, that it was only yesterday we lost our girls? Time is such a strange thing. I remember the day October passed away, I wanted nothing more than time and space to span as quickly as possible because I knew if I could get farther away from losing her, it may help. But, as time progressed it didn't necessarily make things "easier" so to speak, just different. Better yes, but its still difficult. I am so happy to know that you opened your heart to a new little one! And a boy! How wonderful, bless you for caring for him.
Gemy: Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. You are so right, accidents sometimes do happen - we are only human. And while they can be so heart-breaking, its just a fact of life I guess. I find myself being extra careful these days, with our other girls - a bit paranoid perhaps. Thank you again for your kind words.
I wanted to let everyone know that a few months after October passed away, we did get another Yorkie girl. We actually adopted her from a rescue group in Colorado (we live in NC). When I saw her photo, I felt an instant connection and I knew she was the one for me. I felt guilty for even wanting another baby after October, but I knew I could not go on without a sweet Yorkie in my life. So, after speaking with the kind lady at the group and explaining that there was no way possible we could travel to CO to get her - she actually offered to bring her to us! It was then I knew it was truly meant to be. So, Terri (the owner of the group) flew with our new girl in cabin to Charlotte, NC and we met her in the airport in May of 2013. We named her Oli, she was (at the time) a 5 year old baby who Terri had actually purchased at a puppy mill Amish auction, saving her from many more years of breeding - matted and filthy, Terri took her in, cleaned her up and nursed her back to health. And now, after she so graciously brought her to us, she is my little love. She reminds me so much of October in her little mannerisms, and it makes me smile. Oli did not replace October, but she helped me to heal and to love again. I love her so much. I've attached a photo taken around Christmastime. We keep her hair cut short, as she seems to like it better.