It sounded like she was crates for four hours at a time max- is that the case? Typically, four hours wouldn't be too long but everybody's body is different. When lilah was a pup we put a tall ex pen around her dog house and had a potty pad for her to use and tha worked very well for us. It does sound like she is in the crate pretty often. I understand how hard life is to juggle but it sounds like you already feel like you aren't able to fulfill your little Lilly's needs and maybe just need affirmation that the most appropriate decision would be to rehome her. Kids sure keep you busy! I have a few myself
and with more on the way and a tight financial space (I sure understand that one too!) maybe a life with Lilly just isn't what was meant to be. Even if you put up a pen or a baby gate with a potty pad it sounds like she still might be home alone more than what is best for her. If you decide to commit fulfilling her needs in your home, I'm in full support but if rehoming her is what is in her best interest- I really want to support you there too. Whatever you choose please make sure Lilly's quality of life is what you base your decision on and remember that even if it is hard for your daughter that as parents we are teaching them what is right through our actions each day and if what is right for Lilly is another home that you will be teaching your daughter to act in the best interest of our loved ones even when it's hard
please let is know what you decide.