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Originally Posted by Salfies13  THANK YOU to all of you for your advice. I completely understand your concerns. I dated this man 10 years ago when I was 16 years old. We were young, but he was a really great boyfriend. I moved away for college and we disconnected after that. After I "grew up" and got out of my 8 year relationship, we started to reconnect. We've been dating ever since, and by the time I'll be moving in, I'll have been with him for 3 years. Things are serious, and I do foresee marriage in the near future.
I will say, when I tell him that Teddie & I are a 2 for 1 deal, he tells me he's fine with that. He tells me he likes Teddie a lot, except for the barking. Teddie likes him a lot too. Teddie is selective in who he is friendly with, so I was happy to see the two of them connect. He's putting in a fenced in backyard just for Teddie when we move in. That means a lot to me because that's a huge expense.
I am nervous about his claim of having allergies. I've told him that if he can't breathe around Teddie, and no allergy pills/injections work, then I have to move out. I would never give up my dog for a man. It's going to be a difficult situation, but I'm trying to remain positive. We won't know until we try!
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I think that you are right to be nervous - in fact I would delay moving into together until you have had a least a few weekends with him staying with you and Teddy. There are shots and pills that are not totally effective for every-one. It will depend on a number of factors like how severly allergic he is - and if it is to the dander the saliva or both. My sister are her daughter are severly allegic to cats - and even though they dosed up prior to an outside bbq, the short time inside our house - after one hour they were both wheezing and weeping.....
Why made such a serious decision, go through all the upset of a move without a better understanding of how he will re-act to Teddy over several days.
I also think that there are a few more important concerns - such as an outside dog versus inside dog - pee pads and pooping in the house - creating friction for your relationship.
It is almost impossible over the internet to judge *tone* and just how much you are concerned - but you did post here to seek advice so .....
And I don't know how your BF truly feels about being of secondary importance to you. I know that I would not want to be second fiddle all the time. All successful relationships yes are based on compromise/negotiation and pet owning philosophies between couples are best when you have a mutual set of beliefs or values.
What about emergency medical care - expensive tests et al; will your boy friend be on board with that? Do you have pet insurance in place to help defray the costs?
The marital bed needs or at least should be one where both folks feel at ease and comfortable in. And yes it is possible to train your dog to sleep in if not a crate at least a playpen - and you can start now. For me I would want my wishes honored here. Especially if I am building a huge fence, and will accept peepads in the house. I am not a particular clean nut (after all I own three dogs), but none of my dogs sleep in our bed. All my dogs have a cuddle with me on the bed prior to bedtime, then off the bed they go to sleep in their beds.
What is important to me about canine ownership and my partners values and beliefs is that they are close to mine in terms of raising, training, exercising, medical care (the best), going on vacation with us, being fed high quality food and its associated expense. I would not put up with a dog that peed and poo[ed on the furniture, chewed everything in sight, growled, bit or nipped any-one. I am just giving some for instances.
So while you brought up a few concerns there are more; and mayhap you already know you are compatible on the other questions on canine care and ownership, but if not I do suggest you find out.