Sorry haven't had much time to get on here over the weekend!
The meeting with the behavioural Specialist was brilliant! So much helpful advice was given to us. He observed the household for 3-4 hours and then sat us down as a family to give us advice.
At first he said straight away that Jake was playing alpha in our household and that it needed to be nipped in the bud quickly due to the severity of it (the biting and weeing and pooing on the furniture) He advised us to get Jake a pen to give him boundaries within the house and to show him he cannot go where ever he likes and do what ever he likes. He also said that this will help with the toilet problems as we will be able to control where Jake goes to the toilet and will be taken back to toilet training like a 10 week old puppy. He told us that the leashing in the house is a brilliant idea as that means he has boundaries constantly in the house and he will soon pick up on the fact that he cannot do whatever he likes anymore. Jake will be put in his pen when we go to bed, when people are round and when he is in the house on his own.
As for the biting he said this is once of the most obvious cases of Jake again playing the alpha in our house as every time he has bitten, he has come off the floor to do it, for example when he bit me he came onto the sofa to do it and the specialist said this is Jakes' way of saying 'get off my sofa!!!' lol. So with his new boundaries in place this will not happen (fingers crossed).
He then went onto talk about Jakes unresponsiveness which is the main root of our problems. He said that Jake is showing the classic 'I don't have to listen to you, you're not the boss of me' behaviour and he has told us that if when Jake is outside for a wee and does not come when we ask him to he gets the door shut on him and we go back every 10 minutes until he responds and hopefully he will learn that he does not get to come and go as he pleases and again with his new boundaries this will also improve it. Jake is to be positively reinforced when he does good behaviours and responds well and we are not to talk to him in cuddly and cute voices and we have to be firm and stand our ground with him to show him that we are the boss. Jake is to only get praised when he is on the floor so he is not allowed any sofa cuddles anymore as he cant have mixed signals anymore and we have to be consistent with him.
Jake LOVES my dog Bella, who is a boarder terrier and is only 3 herself. They both have playful natures and will play together allll day which is brilliant. The specialist said that this is a brilliant sign as Jake is not showing any sign of aggression with other dogs and is happy for Bella to come into, at the moment, what he thinks is his territory which is great. Now the plan is for Bella to move in with us full time as Granddad is moving to a nursing home so Jake will be on his own a lot more and the specialist doesn't want him to get anxiety. The plan is that when Jakes' behaviour starts to improve over the next few months that Bella is slowly introduced into his daily life so he gets use to having her around all the time (I'm sure he will have no problem with having his little girlfriend round all the time!!! haha). Bella is also really well trained and so responsive and bright so with introducing her will only have positive effects on Jake. The plan was to always have Bella move in with us as my other dog Betty is so old and really hates Bellas playfulness and really does prefer to be alone completely and does so whenever she can (bless her).
Most of the changes has to be to the way we act around Jake so he was more telling us to change our behaviour (which we knew was going to happen lol) so hopefully with a combination of the things above and our behaviour changes we will be on the way to having a happy household again!
Most of the things said to us by the specialist are what people on here have suggested so honestly I cannot thank you all enough for trying to help us, I really am so grateful
I will keep everyone updated on our little journey with Jake and let everyone know how it goes!