[SirTeddykins]

So, I have probably mentioned before that Teddy screams like a woman and runs like a bat out of hell to his nesting spot when he's pooped and it has become lodged in his fur.. It is appalling and funny at the same time. I am always conflicted - do I ignore him? acknowledge his mania? What?


Well, yesterday, he went in his box like a very good boy. Afterwards, he ran out like a maniac and threw himself into the very back of his crate until it rocked. As he didn't scream, I assumed he was just being his "normal" self which is to say that he hates pooping and always acts strange afterwards (he's been to the vet - his problems are mental not physical - makes me feel really great as a neuropsychological researcher that I cannot figure this dog out - yet, I digress).


ANYWAY, I stood up from my studies to stretch my legs, refill my coffee and on the way back to the living room noticed that Teddy was sniffing under the coffee table. When he spotted me, he threw himself to the back of his crate again. Intrigued, I looked at the spot under investigation to find what can only be described as a "pooplet drop" under my table. He eyed me cautiously as I picked it up and threw it away without comment.


The whole incident went forgotten until I passed the coffee table later and he started to bark and growl at me. I wondered, "What is your problem you adorably psychotic canine," and then noticed that the closer I walked towards the spot where he'd discarded his pooplet, the more animated he became! Was he guarding it, protecting me from it, distracting me from the crime as he'd forgotten I'd already known about it??


I told him to "BE QUIET" and "GO LAY DOWN" and sat down wondering how my life had turned into this mess? Instead of going to his spot, he circled the scene of his crime and stood up with his paws on the table to sniff...his COLLAR. Ah! Did he try to poop on his collar and got mad at me when I removed his insult without permission? Maybe he thought the collar would be as afraid of his poop as he is, thus, it would retreat with womanly screams from his trap?


I'll never know but it gave me something to think about, anyway! I consider now two questions:


Do dogs have passive aggressive tendencies AND
Does the size of the collar correlate to the size of the pooplet?


The first question will be ongoing research and the second is a scary proposition if someone brings in a collar meant for a St Bernard...Teddy will really have to scream like a woman trying to pass that pooplet!!!