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Originally Posted by calismama  Thanks for the responses and commiseration! I agree that a big problem is consistency. Cali is crazy persistent, so for example she wants to lay on me all of the time if I'm sitting and sometimes I don't let her. Does she take no for an answer?? Of course not lol! She'll jump on to me over and over again and finally I give in because I can't focus on anything I'm doing for having to tell her to get down. |
That's where you are losing control of your interactions with the dog and will lose major control of that baby in time unless you make some changes. Training a dog in self-control is just a series of little games you play with them. One way I handle what you've just described is to refuse a bossy/pushy-type dog from approaching just any time he wants and make him work for it. I'll tell him to "Stop. Lie Down." and wait until he does in order to gain respect, control of the situation and remind him who is in control. After 30 - 60 seconds - or more - of him going down and waiting in the lying position, I tell him "Release. Come" if I want him on me or direct him to his toy basket, pre-prepared kong toys, chew toys if I'm working. Now he's learned that by doing what I've asked, he got even better rewards then he originally was going for. And once I'm done working, he gets his cuddles and a hard play session as a second reward for controlling himself while I was busy. They soon learn you will come through after work is over if you always do and they learn to wait for it.
These short, timely efforts to help gain control of small slices of hyper behavior will help him begin to learn some impulse- and self-control and begin to learn he must listen to and obey your commands in order to have his best life. Disobeying gets an "uh oh" or "No!", you standing up, clapping your hands, sudden three-finger flank-touching to distract him from any manic behavior and staring him down until he turns away, gives up and relaxes. Then you relax and go about your business.
Obedience training in 5 min. sessions only 2-3 times daily for the little one you've described, a super excitable dog, is absolutely essential to gaining control of him and teaching him how to control himself in order to get even greater rewards than wildness or acting out brings him - the rewards of your happy praise, his growing self-confidence/less stress and anxiety because he doesn't presently really understand what you expect of him and a great, tasty treat reward.
Once he "gets it" that obeying you gives him more positive reinforcement, pride in his accomplishments and the benefits of a happy you, which net him only good things such as smiles, praise and treats, you'll begin to have a happy, less volatile, more submissive, well-behaved dog. He'll begin to sense you are very pleased with him when he controls himself and obeys you and want to keep you that way as he learns that his life is better that way.
You can spend your time being frustrated with your dog and correcting him all the time or taking some well-chosen time when he's misbehaving to train and direct his behavior to that which you prefer. He's really putty in your hands, to mold as you see fit, but it requires something of you during the training period. You can do it!