I have worked alternating Holidays for 40 years, so it was never a really big deal on WHAT day we celebrated a holiday....momma always made whatever day we had to have our celebration on, a special, joyous day.....the really difficult part is now having our holidays without her.....we lost momma in 2002, and it has not gotten any easier as we sit down to eat, now without her.... We never had a huge celebration with lots of family members...like your family gathering, it was only my brother, my son, momma, me and occasionally, when they were alive, momma had a brother and a sister that may join us for a week during the holiday.....
I still set a place for momma, with a rose on her plate.....and I had long since learned how to prepare the signature dressings, so we still have the same menu that we have always had....it seems it is important for my brother that the menu is strictly adhered to, as the last, solid, unmoving, unchanging source of strength we draw from momma's "presence".....I can understand exactly how you are feeling and it is indeed bittersweet....I feel stronger and more secure, maintaining unchanged traditions of our holidays....that may work for you too, even if it is just a single little thing you do to celebrate your momma's memory and influence in all you do. |