I'm usually pretty rational, even when it came to grief and guilt all my life. Im really good at brushing it off , taking a deep breath and expelling the weighted emotions because they don't change anything and life must go on. Death is a given. Enjoy good things while it's your turn to experience them, and when the chapter ends you move on and make more memories. I used to have it down pat. I dealt with my grandfather, who I was extremely attached to, committing suicide when i was 6. My father doing the same when I was 7, and my boyfriend also ending his life when I was 15. countless deaths of friends, and euthanizing my 17 yr old pit bull soulmate... I've gotten good at death. But not this time. Marley's death has floored me emotionally and none of my rationalizations are getting through to my heart. |