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shelbysmom · 10-07-2014, 10:56 AM

I am not even sure I can do this, I hate bringing my feelings to the surface. I have spent the last year feeling like I could break down and cry at any moment and this will probably put me over the edge. Today marks one year since I lost my sweet little girl Shelby. She was only 8 1/2 and I never imagined that I would have her for such a short time. We spent just about every moment together every day, the longest I ever left her was once for 7 hours (son's wedding). I couldn't stand to be away from her and the feeling was mutual. The circumstances of her death made it more painful because it was during a rare family weekend together. It was supposed to be so much fun, I had looked forward to it for months. She was my everything and then she was gone. She became ill, we took her to emergency, they thought she would recover but they found cancer. I don't know how she could have cancer and I missed it. I don't know how I could leave her in emergency, how I got through any of it. It's all a blur, worse day of my life. I still feel sadness and guilt that I couldn't move when I heard the news, I couldn't be with her when they put her to sleep. I just couldn't. I didn't want her ashes and I didn't want her pony tail. My heart breaks when I think about that last day and the choices I made while being in shock. My husband and I cried every day for 3 months, hearing the sound of him weeping when he got a bowl of cereal killed me. (Shelby always ran to him knowing she would get the last bite)

She was the best little love bug in the world and every day with her seemed like Christmas. She made me laugh and smile when life got tough, she stayed next to me when I was ill, she followed me from room to room and she missed me when I was away. She was small, fine sleeping in her purse as long as she was with me. We were best friends. I will love her and miss her for the rest of my life.

I am not young, kids are grown up, friends are very ill, life is not always easy. I still have plenty of tears left but I am doing what I can to heal and move on. Time is such a precious thing, I can't waste it. We got our little Ali 4 months after Shelby passed. She is beautiful, sweet and funny, I love her dearly.

So, today, one year after her passing, I need to pay tribute to Shelby who gave me my name here on Yorkietalk. Thank you my darling for 8 1/2 wonderful years of joy and love and comfort. I will always be Shelbysmom.

10-07-2014, 10:56 AM	#1
shelbysmom YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,394	Shelby 4/03/05-10/07/2013 I am not even sure I can do this, I hate bringing my feelings to the surface. I have spent the last year feeling like I could break down and cry at any moment and this will probably put me over the edge. Today marks one year since I lost my sweet little girl Shelby. She was only 8 1/2 and I never imagined that I would have her for such a short time. We spent just about every moment together every day, the longest I ever left her was once for 7 hours (son's wedding). I couldn't stand to be away from her and the feeling was mutual. The circumstances of her death made it more painful because it was during a rare family weekend together. It was supposed to be so much fun, I had looked forward to it for months. She was my everything and then she was gone. She became ill, we took her to emergency, they thought she would recover but they found cancer. I don't know how she could have cancer and I missed it. I don't know how I could leave her in emergency, how I got through any of it. It's all a blur, worse day of my life. I still feel sadness and guilt that I couldn't move when I heard the news, I couldn't be with her when they put her to sleep. I just couldn't. I didn't want her ashes and I didn't want her pony tail. My heart breaks when I think about that last day and the choices I made while being in shock. My husband and I cried every day for 3 months, hearing the sound of him weeping when he got a bowl of cereal killed me. (Shelby always ran to him knowing she would get the last bite) She was the best little love bug in the world and every day with her seemed like Christmas. She made me laugh and smile when life got tough, she stayed next to me when I was ill, she followed me from room to room and she missed me when I was away. She was small, fine sleeping in her purse as long as she was with me. We were best friends. I will love her and miss her for the rest of my life. I am not young, kids are grown up, friends are very ill, life is not always easy. I still have plenty of tears left but I am doing what I can to heal and move on. Time is such a precious thing, I can't waste it. We got our little Ali 4 months after Shelby passed. She is beautiful, sweet and funny, I love her dearly. So, today, one year after her passing, I need to pay tribute to Shelby who gave me my name here on Yorkietalk. Thank you my darling for 8 1/2 wonderful years of joy and love and comfort. I will always be Shelbysmom.