I can only tell you that I have had many dogs over some 50+ years and not one female ever had an incontinence problem at any age and all my female pets have been spayed.
There are a wide range of post op experiences, however. Of course over the years techniques have changed quite a bit and it seems to me cats and dogs recover much more quickly these days with a far smaller incision. A lot depends on your vet and what method they use and just how skilled they are at surgeries. It is really important to have a vet that is well experienced with small breed dogs and who has a great success record.
Maybe Doris had a prejudice about spaying? Seems like a very odd comment to make to someone who is picking up their baby after such a surgery.
Usually the worst of these events is the dog coming out of the anesthesia. Some dogs have more of a problem than others. Gracie was such a sad looking little girl when we brought her home a few hours after her surgery. All she wanted to do was sleep. The next day she was much improved and the next day we would not convince her she had surgery!
I'm sure your girl has forgiven you and it was well worth one day of sadness in order to never have to worry about going into heat again.
