[Bentleysmommie]

Hello everyone!

This post is a little graphic, please avoid if you have a weak stomach.

I have not been on for a while, hope to explain what happened and vent. Going through a hard time. Some of you may remember my baby Bentley. I lost him at only 10 months old tragically a while back. I was with my family at home and he was playing in the yard, I had some older cotton beds outside that he loved to play with so I assumed he was doing that. Long story short, he was outside for less than 10 minutes when my mother walks out and starts yelling and crying. Bentley was dead. I called the vet frantic and I assumed it was the medication he was on for some issues he was having. Well I told them I was going to take him in to dispose of the body. I tried to hurry because I did not want my nephews to see him and when I picked him up, I saw the most horrible sight!!! Because he has long hair at plain view I could not see but when trying to pick him up I realized he had strings all over his neck, he chocked to death with the cotton bed. Needless to say I was devastated.I felt extremely guilty, sad, overwhelmed. Fast forward now his memory still runs deep but I am moving forward. After taking time to heal and saving money. I finally decided now is the right time for another baby and I found an amazing puppy. She is sweet, loving, everything I imagined and more. She is small weighing only 10 oz at 8 weeks, she eats and plays just like other puppies.I was so excited when picking her up that I was on cloud 9. After getting home and looking at her I noticed she was cock eyed, I was not too worried just thought I would bring it up at the vet visit. Well yesterday was the vet visit and the vet took one look at her and said it was hydrocephalus. My blood pressure dropped and I was dizzy. Next he said that I needed to see a neurologist. I made an appointment for next week and the introductory visit is $250. I am a student and saved for so long to just afford the actual puppy. I was prepared for regular vet bills but my vet speculated at least $4,000 to $5,000 for treatment!! I am devastated at this point. The breeder said to return the puppy and she will replace it. Really? I am attached to this puppy! I do not want another!! Then when I asked her what would happen to this puppy she said she would put humanely put down. Have you no heart? I am NOT loosing hope, I had a friend with a chihuahua with a similar issue and she is 7 years old. I just want to give her the best life possible, as long as nature permits it. I love her so much, words really cannot explain. I am crying as I write this. When it rains it pours. Trying to stay positive. Thanks for reading if you got this far!!