[yorkietalkjilly]

It sounds as if you dog is an anxious, uncertain dog who is jealous and possessive of you due to his lack of self-confidence. He obviously senses your wife isn't perhaps especially happy or friendly with him or he may be fearful of her for some real or due to perceived sleights or shortcomings in their relationship and he sees protection of you as his job. You two will need to work to change that dynamic in his life and become his loving pack leaders, building up his self-confidence and self-esteem and get him looking to you as his respected pack leaders. I'll give you some ideas and things I would try if I were in your situation:

If she would be willing to become his caregiver for a while, the one who pours up his food, changes his water twice a day, takes him for all of his walks, gives him his baths and grooming sessions, that would be just ideal. He'll learn he can trust her and she's really caring for him. From the sound of things, if she's given you the ultimatum, she wouldn't be willing to do all of those things to kind of help him over the hump but if she's just do one or two to start with, it would be a help in changing his attitude.

So, you are going to have to become a stronger pack leader and teach him how to behave correctly. He's confused and needs you to actually gain full control of him and you can do that, step at a time. You didn't mention that he does any obedience training in order to learn how to respond to what you request of him so that is essential that you train him in basic obedience. Behavior problems start to fall away as dogs begin to learn obedience and do it willingly because you make it fun and rewarding. Just start out teaching him to come, no, stop in place, sit, lie down, stay, shake paws, go around in a circle, leave it, crate up, etc. Each time he does what you ask or show him what to do, smile, praise and treat him. If you will repeat this training x5 minutes, x2 daily, he'll love the work, the bonding of the two of you and come to see you as a kind, gentle and loving teacher who he will learn to love responding to and obeying. He'll gain control of himself, learn how to control his impulses and actually learn that every time you tell him something, he's to automatically do it because it's become the thing he's trained to do and besides, the rewards are so great. He'll also come to deeply respect and love you for taking the time to work with him. Dogs adore training and will actually beg you to train them when the trainer makes it fun and rewarding - makes the dog feel big and important for learning his commands. Keep the training short, repetitive, fun and a very positive experience for him. Training should be fun for trainer and dog!

Start him on one of the free online Nothing In Life Is Free Programs immediately. Ask him to perform a command before he gets to eat, go potty, get a toy, a chewie, go outside for a walk, coming out of his crate, jump up on the furniture, cuddle with you or anything he wants to do. Dogs love this program if you keep the commands upbeat and make it fun for him. He does the command, gets his dinner, his walk, his chewie or his cuddle - he learns that you are his pack leader and to be greatly esteemed and respected and learns to work for what he gets - something dogs have been doing for their centuries of existence. It makes them feel worthy and smart.

As he's attacked your wife, just while he's in training for the next two months, in the evenings when everyone is in the same room with him and his crate, I'd keep him on a leash and when your wife starts to get up or move, do anything, make sure you are holding onto the leash and have him sit and stay while she walks across the room or goes about her business. If he stays sitting and doesn't growl or object to her actions, praise and toss him a treat.

Your wife could really make her getting up and coming near you mean something good to him if she'd automatically toss him a very high-value treat(such as warm, boiled chicken or a turkey hotdog bit) anytime she approaches you for the next two months. In time, if she'd really devote herself to it, he would associate her approaching you with sitting, staying and her tossing him a fabulous treat and your praising and treating him also and come to think of it as a very, very good thing.

I'd further enrich his life by teaching him to seek treats you've placed around the house, slowly taking him along and pointing to the hidden treats at first, as you say "seek" and allowing him to get and eat the treats and going on to the next until you've made the full circle and all hidden treats have been eaten. Keep hiding the treats in the same exact spot at first every time and keep showing him where they are along the circuit for a while but soon, his nose will become adjusted to how they smell and he'll be able to find them on his own. Then, begin to change where you hide them and allow him to work out where they are on his own and praise him as he finds each one. It will encourage him and give him self-confidence that he's a smart, working dog, doing the thing dogs seem to love to do most - seek and hunt. It's a fulfilling exercise for any housebound dog to learn and they love it.

Buying him some of the puzzle games and treat toys so that he has to learn how to get the treats out of them will also help him feel more confidence in himself and a confident dog is not as anxious or stressed, he's too busy solving his puzzles and interacting positively with his family/pack.

Gaining full control over an anxious, possessive dog is never an easy task - and it takes a lot of work - but it's well worth the efforts as you will begin to see your dog learn how to work, learn to control himself, see him trying hard to please you and watch him change his ways. Changing a dog that is headed for a shelter or rehoming to one who the whole family can't live without is a great and loving work, so fulfilling and rewarding and it buys you a new pet, one that's a total joy to have around because he's happy, feisty and gladly obedient good boy.