I'm so very sorry you're hurting. Please accept my deepest condolences.
I've been where you are & I do know this pain. There are no words to comfort you, but know you have people that care and want only the best for you. Hug your other two babies tonight and hold them close, they'll miss London too & need you for support. I know this is unbearable and impossible to believe right now, but someday...you'll remember London and smile. Hugs. God bless.