[yorkietalkjilly]

Perhaps it is time to seek some professional help, either through pastoral counseling or through someone your doctor suggests. Besides professional help, there are usually pet grief support groups in major cities that regularly meet to support one another when people are having a very hard time dealing with the death of their beloved pet, usually at the same time very many other bad things are going on, kind of throwing them for a loop. In some large cities, 211 will give you your cities Community Services information line and they might be able to give you some phone numbers to call for counseling services. A lot of times, just sitting with someone or a few others who understand and won't judge, talking things out, getting your feelings and fears out, can make a huge difference. Knowing that people around you care and want to help will in turn help you feel a little more hopeful.

Life gets awfully grim but people made it through terrible tragedies in their lives, multiple deaths and horrible injuries, illnesses, through wars, loss of homes and all they owned, their pets, property and worse, and somehow prevailed. All it took to get through it all was the will and hope to move forward until life begins to get better again. And, if you hang in there and reach for help, it will get better.

I've lived a long time, been through hell at times, but always came through the valleys somehow but it's never easy - it take grit and determination that somehow you will, above all, make it. And when you do, turn around and help others having hard times and succor them with your new understanding of what "down" feels like. But for now, it sounds as if you need some more professional help and support to to get yourself over the hump. We all get to this point at some time or another.