 210 "Winter Olympics!
Can you tell I'm cleaning off my email today???
>>>>>>Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics,
>>>>>>these are some questions people the world over are asking!
>>>>>>Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on
>>>>>>an International Tourism Website (frightening). Obviously the
>>>>>>answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the
>>>>>>plants grow? (UK)
>>>>>>A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
>>>>>>and watch them die.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>>>>>>A. Depends on how much you've been drinking.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the
>>>>>>Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
>>>>>>A. Sure, it's only four thousand miles; take lots of water.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
>>>>>>A. So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
>>>>>>places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>>>>>>A. Let's not touch this one.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you
>>>>>>send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and
>>>>>>Halifax? (UK)
>>>>>>A. What did your last slave die of?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
>>>>>>Canada? (USA)
>>>>>>A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
>>>>>>Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North ... oh
>>>>>>forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
>>>>>>Calgary. Come naked.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>>>>>>A. Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you
>>>>>>get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
>>>>>>A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>>>>>>A. Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
>>>>>>Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys
>>>>>>Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary,
>>>>>>straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>>>>>>A. No, we don't stink.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
>>>>>>youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
>>>>>>A. Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the
>>>>>>female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
>>>>>>A. Yes, gay nightclubs.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>>>>>>A. Only at Thanksgiving.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
>>>>>>year round? (Germany)
>>>>>>A. No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter /
>>>>>>gatherers. Milk is illegal.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
>>>>>>forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
>>>>>>A. It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent,
>>>>>>eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can
>>>>>>scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
>>>>>>go out walking.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>>>>>>A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Please send this on to any who you think will enjoy it as much
>>>>>>as I have. |