I think kjc is onto something. This behavior seems like a pup who is out of sorts and may be feeling the tension (which only causes her more anxiety and unwanted behavioral incidents).
While my 8 month-old is not going through what your girl is, I did notice early on that she had stress incontinence and was sensitive to ANY reaction to her bodily functions. I ignore mistakes ALWAYS and OVER-praise successes. (my DH even joins the "celebration" in a high voice "Potty on the potty pad! YAAYYY!" "We're so prouuuud!" lol) But, when she's actually USING the indoor grass-like potty pad (or the other types we still have in various places), she will freak out if anyone is watching her. The whole house gets quiet and still and we all pretend we don't see her---and then we start cheering when she's done like hockey players after a hat trick!
I hope that your girl's problem isn't medical, but definitely remember that she's not TRYING to make you angry and frustrated. She's probably as stressed as you are, somehow.
I hope things improve, whatever changes you implement. You clearly care very much for your not-yet-with-the-program baby.