[alpayton]

I have been in a similar place. I feel for you my dear. In KY it's possible to get a divorce even if you don't know where the other party to the divorce is. You may want to look into it. If I remember it correctly, you publish an ad in the papers in your area stating that you are requesting a divorce from so and so and if they do not respond by a such and such date, that divorce will be granted and all wishes (including custody) will be granted as you wish by default. Ask an attorney about it for your state. You do NOT have to wait until he GIVES you a divorce. Or so I sure hope. Good luck and STAY STRONG!