What a tragic, awful story and I'm so heartbroken for you. We've most of us lost favorite Yorkies whom we loved beyond belief and some of us have lost our dogs in tragic ways. There is just no pain quite like losing a family member - a vital part of your life. It hits you right in the heart and the gut and just takes you out for the longest time. There is guilt, pain, loss, wishing what-if and rethinking everything, after which comes a long period of grieving and depression where nothing in life in the same. It's all normal and goes with losing someone we cherish and who is important to us. And what makes a dog so vital to a doglover is that they love so selflessly and so unequivocally and without hesitation or any agenda at all.
In time and with the passing of weeks, you will begin to heal and feel better and you will hurt less. The pain grows less and less and in time, these painful memories are slowly replaced by mostly the sweet, wonderful ones. I'm glad you know you need another dog and will be looking for another one soon, not to replace Ricki but as an homage to the special relationship you had. I hope you find another Yorkie soon and he or she is every bit as special as little Ricki was. R.I.P., Ricki.
__________________  Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis |