[yorkietalkjilly]

Give her the treat-stuffed kong or chewie, get her engaged in it and get your purse, take out the keys and sit back down, resume normal living. Repeat once or twice an hour. Another time, give her a toy to play with or the treat-filled kong and go open your closet door, take out clothes and then go sit down and resume your normal activities. Repeat a few times. Another time, take your shower or just turn on the water, take out your bathing things and then return to the room you were in with her.

Whatever activities start her getting anxious and telegraph that you are preparing to leave, do just one of those briefly and then return to what your were doing and repeat a few times that day, then move on to another step. Over time, do two or three things in a row that involve getting ready to leave and then resume what you were doing. In time and with enough repetitions and being extremely matter-of-fact while you are doing those preparations, she will start to accept that just because you do those things, life doesn't end, you don't actually leave and she will learn how to accept them without freaking out. By slowly working up to things a dog doesn't like or gets anxious about, it will slowly grow to accept and learn how to live with it. In time, you can work up to going to the door with your coat, keys, purse, opening it and coming back into the room with her, putting those things down and resuming your previous activities. Another time, go out the door and wait a few seconds and right back in, coming back to where she is and going on with what you were doing. Just slowly work up to over and over repeating getting ready to go and leaving bit by bit until she comes to accept it by degrees and in time, she will stay calm when you leave.

I'd also encourage her self-confidence by a good obedience training program where you work training her basic commands for your praise and treats and she learns that you tell her what to do and she does it for your positive reinforcement. Train her to go to her spot or bed on a command you give, such as "Go to bed" and lie quietly for a while on command and praise and treat her when she's managed to control her impulse to move or jump up. Once she's got that command down cold, you can use it in your desensitization training while you are getting into your coat or opening the door and then when she stays there for a short time, really, really, really praise and multi-treat her for the exercise. Keep repeating that and multi-treat when she stays put. She's learning to control herself when you tell her to because she knows her positive reinforcement reward for doing what you request is going to be well worth it and she'll see your pride in her when she does it, she'll get several little treats in a row as your praise her over and over and it will keep her wanting to please you time after time. This is how dogs learn.

During that time of learning to respond to your commands, she'll begin to feel less anxious and nervous and become a more self-confident dog, come to feel your pride in her. She won't be as anxious as she once was. She'll begin to learn over the many lessons and the two of you working together that if you tell her to lie down and play with her kong, she'll be happy to do it because you told her to and that when you do come back, you'll really praise her and treat her for being a good girl.