Thank you all for your replies. It just helps to hear from people who understand. I am trying to keep busy but everywhere I turn and everything I do, some part of it reminds me that something is missing. I gotta tell you. I have had many dogs in my life, but that little yorkie was the most like having another child. lol I raised 6 and I do have other dogs, but he was my little shadow. I couldn't sit down without him crawling in my lap and snuggling in. I just love the way they wrap themselves around you with their neck. They are amazing and I know I will get another one. I just want to wait and mourn Jasper because I don' want to try to replace him. That's not fair to the next pup to get it with such expectations. I am looking forward to loving the next one though. For now, I will focus on my other doggies.
I was able to load pictures in an album but I don't know how to get them to this thread.
I just hope my little panic attacks stop happening. I think I get them because every time the vets brought him back to me, in between procedures, he would lay on my chest and wrap his neck around mine and kiss me the whole time like he was so glad he was back in my arms. Then I panic because I feel like I did something wrong and didn't protect him. He should still be here. OMG He should still be here. |