I'm so sorry... it is very hard. Just allow yourself time to grieve. I went from crying all day, to a few times a day, then once a day, every other day, once a week, and so on. I still cry occasionally, especially when I read that others are going through the same or a similar process, and I lost my first Yorkie over 20 years ago. Our last minutes together are etched in my brain, but I do try to focus more on all the times she made me laugh and how happy we were. I still can feel the excruciating pain of my loss, like it was yesterday: my chest hurt, my heart, literally for months after her passing. The only thing that really helped me was getting another Yorkie. He kept me busy so I had less time to think and feel my pain, and he also made me laugh and smile again. I had waited for two years, but my sadness was overwhelming, and I wanted to be able to smile again and mean it.
I remember too that I thought I was losing my mind. I was grieving harder for my dog than I ever had for the humans in my life that I had lost... is that normal, or even acceptable? IDK, I just know it happened with me.
God gives us Yorkies to love, and He decides when it's time for them to go Home. My purpose on this Earth is to be a Yorkie Mommie, and when He takes mine, it's because there is another Yorkie, somewhere, that needs me more.
I read where all these new Yorkie owners are shocked at how quickly they have become attached to their new pups, how much they love them and how attached they've become in such a short time. Yorkies are experts at this. I would like to warn them though, that as great as the love is, the grief of loss is just as powerful, just as shocking in it's abruptness when it comes on after a Yorkie passes. Grief is the price we pay for love.
And the pain... it comes from the love. We love everyday, more and more. Then they leave, but the heart keeps loving, with nowhere for the love to go, so it builds up in the heart, and it hurts. Once the heart is allowed to love again, the love starts flowing out and growing, and the pain we feel begins to ease and stops eventually.
Wishing you Godspeed on your journey, and sending big Hugs. Hope you can feel better soon, although I know better. Elvis still loves you... He is your Special Angel now, and will be watching over you forever. He is in a better place now, and would not want you to be feeling so sad for him. |