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docmartin · 11-07-2013, 06:46 AM

Thank you Girls.

I was released this morning and sent home in an unmarked Police car at 6am Very cunning indeed . they thought they'd fool the press, but my paparazzi were there - oh boy were they! The old boy ran off (hobbled) with the reporters shouting - "why did you try to frame Crystal Dad, are you jealous of her"?

The 'New Yorkie Times' have offered me $$$$$$$$$$$$$ to write my story and the 'Daily Bone' has offered to pay my lawyers costs to counter claim against the Old boy.

Trouble is and just between us girls - I did eat his old tart thing and very yummy it was too! I pleaded my innocence by pointing out he's always leaving little treats all over the place as a game. For instance he often goes into Mom's room and hides Kibbles all over the place.

How was I, a young girl of just 10 months to decide what was a game and what wasn't? I though the chair was an initiative test, a new 'level' of trial for me. The whopping great 'treat' jobbie at the top I thought was both a reward for having recently recovered from a tummy upset, whilst showing the right attitude towards anything scoffable!

After all (and this was the case altered) I suggested that the amount of the exhibit I'd consumed, was miniscule in comparison to what I'd left him. Furthermore in a weight to consumption ratio, I'd been more than fair to him!

The old duffer in the Red Dressing Gown on the bench with the dusty wig and hammer thingy was 'Putty in my Hands', right from the start - oh yes! He even asked for a kiss afterwards and wanted to take me for a walk - I ask you!!!

Thanks for your support - all you girls out there. Currently the authorities are considering prosecuting him for dereliction of the Health and Safety Act anyway. Apparently as the chair is made of wood, isn't clockwork, doesn't speak Belgian or have a non slip cover, he's bang to rights. In addition there's no fire extinguisher in sight and under European law the walls are the wrong colour anyway. He's considering a plea bargain apparently and actually I do miss him - (especially at meal times).

Got to play it smart here girls!

11-07-2013, 06:46 AM	#12
docmartin Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: North Lincs Posts: 699 Blog Entries: 13	My thanks to you all. Thank you Girls. I was released this morning and sent home in an unmarked Police car at 6am Very cunning indeed . they thought they'd fool the press, but my paparazzi were there - oh boy were they! The old boy ran off (hobbled) with the reporters shouting - "why did you try to frame Crystal Dad, are you jealous of her"? The 'New Yorkie Times' have offered me $$$$$$$$$$$$$ to write my story and the 'Daily Bone' has offered to pay my lawyers costs to counter claim against the Old boy. Trouble is and just between us girls - I did eat his old tart thing and very yummy it was too! I pleaded my innocence by pointing out he's always leaving little treats all over the place as a game. For instance he often goes into Mom's room and hides Kibbles all over the place. How was I, a young girl of just 10 months to decide what was a game and what wasn't? I though the chair was an initiative test, a new 'level' of trial for me. The whopping great 'treat' jobbie at the top I thought was both a reward for having recently recovered from a tummy upset, whilst showing the right attitude towards anything scoffable! After all (and this was the case altered) I suggested that the amount of the exhibit I'd consumed, was miniscule in comparison to what I'd left him. Furthermore in a weight to consumption ratio, I'd been more than fair to him! The old duffer in the Red Dressing Gown on the bench with the dusty wig and hammer thingy was 'Putty in my Hands', right from the start - oh yes! He even asked for a kiss afterwards and wanted to take me for a walk - I ask you!!! Thanks for your support - all you girls out there. Currently the authorities are considering prosecuting him for dereliction of the Health and Safety Act anyway. Apparently as the chair is made of wood, isn't clockwork, doesn't speak Belgian or have a non slip cover, he's bang to rights. In addition there's no fire extinguisher in sight and under European law the walls are the wrong colour anyway. He's considering a plea bargain apparently and actually I do miss him - (especially at meal times). Got to play it smart here girls! Last edited by docmartin; 11-07-2013 at 06:50 AM.