[danniko]

....for Monday and I am a nervous wreck. She goes in at 8am and then her surgery is set for 10:30-11 (the ortho surgeon is coming to our regular clinic to do it).

Sophie is our 4 year old 4.5lb yorkie that has been needing this surgery done since she was a puppy (I don't understand vet speak that well, but from what I have gathered, it sounds like the groove where her knee cap would be in is completely flat and non-existent) so we opted to go with the surgery to fix both at the same time.

I have been shaking like a leaf ever since we left the vet's office today as I knew we were booking it, but I didn't realize there would be an opening so soon. I am so nervous about her going under or something drastic happening to her that I feel sick and am so afraid that this weekend could be my last weekend. Our vet knows my fears, but she could only say so much and nothing she says, unless it is "I guarantee she will be fine" is good enough at this point. I know there are risks but she said that for healthy dogs (she just had bloodwork in July) that they are typically okay and the chance of developing an allergy later on in life is a 1 in 25000 chance. Still not good enough, I am still petrified.

I just keep looking at her and bawling at the thought of losing her and my husband isn't really being that much of a help right now because he keeps saying that she will be fine. I won't believe it until she is home with me and the surgery is over.

I am going through phases of wondering if we are doing this for no reason and if karma will bite us in the butt because maybe we shouldn't be choosing this surgery yet...she limps and hops, but doesn't always seem in pain. But right now we have the money and I am not working so I will be home with her the whole time. What if we are making a mistake? Is feeling this panicked normal? I just can't imagine her little body under anesthetic for up to 90 mins and then I won't be able to see her again until she gets to come home and that apparently is dependent on when she decides to pee and eat while she is still there.

I really need some support from people who have gone through this right now. My husband and I were told we likely won't be able to have human children so Sophie is one of the most important parts of my life right now. I got her just after my grandma passed away and then last year she was my mom's therapy dog while she was in a hospice...and when my mom passed away Sophie became my little therapy dog.

Ugh, I feel ridiculous right now, but hopefully I can find support that I desperately need right now.